My Grandma B

Lexi (who is named after her great-grandma) and Grandma

It's midnight and I can't sleep so I am going to write about my Grandma.  She died today.  I know she was old, and I know she wanted to go, but it doesn't matter- I still feel sad.  I can't pick up the phone to call her and hear all the details about our family.  I can't tell her about my life and know she cares.  I will miss her.  Of course I believe in life after death.  I have had a lot of happiness today imagining her reuniting with my Grandpa up there.  I know without a doubt that she had a peaceful day today- so glad to be done with this life and to move on to the next.  And I know I will see her again.  She's my Grandma and we are sealed together as a family so she will always be mine.  But the separation of death is what is hard.  The loss for a time being of that person on earth.  Even if you only saw them once a year or so, once they are gone you just feel that they're not here on earth with you and that feels sad.

The last time I saw her was summer 2011.  I wanted her to meet Mack and a bunch of us stayed with her for a couple of days before heading to another reunion.  She held my baby and talked with my big kids and gave everyone hugs.  She would sit in her chair and ask us all about our lives.  She always wanted to know what was going on.  When it was time to say goodbye she hugged me and said, "Denae you're a good mom- I always knew you would be."  It was just something I really needed to hear and she must have known.

One thing about my Grandma is she had a lot of love to give.  I always felt loved by her.  She has 26 grandchildren and I know they all felt the same.  And then, we all started having kids and her love just kept on going.  My kids (her great-grandkids) have received countless letters, notes, and little gifts from her.  Whether is was a pillowcase, a Christmas ornament, or a cross stitch, my kids knew she loved them and they loved her back.  Whenever they wrote her a letter, she wrote them a letter in return.  She has approximately 30 great grandchildren (I might be missing one or two- too late at night to count) and she knew them all by name, knew their birthdays, and cared for them all.  That is amazing.  I want to be like her someday.

Remember how in my last post I talked about how overwhelmed and busy we are right now?  Well, none of that matters when someone you love dies.  Today I ate cookies, played guess-who with Macey, and sprayed the kids with the hose for-ever.  I thought about my Grandma and Grandpa and thanked Heavenly Father for them and for my memories.  I thought about my cousins and aunts and uncles that I will get to see soon and I felt thankful for them too.  I talked to my sisters and mom on the phone.  We sat outside this evening and watched Mack explore.  Life slowed down just a bit and it turns out that all those things I was stressing about don't matter quite as much as I thought they did.

I will miss my Grandma B so much.  But I am happy for her.  She told us all so many times she was ready to go.  She would say, "don't cry for me when I'm gone!"  I've had to cry a little but I'm trying not to.  I love you Grandma.

Big News

I am overwhelmed right now.  Not only is it May, the most busiest, wildest time at the school, I have 3 photo sessions this month and two weddings, a visiting teaching conference this Sunday to plan, AND we are also moving!

You may wonder why we chose to move at such a crazy time of year.  Well, we didn't really- we put our house up for sale and hoped to sell it and move in July, but it sold in five days.  SO!  Now the new owners want to close June 1st, and said we could stay till June 15th.  That is 5 weeks away.

I need to find us a place to live!  So here are the details.  We are moving to Walnut Creek, the town where I grew up, the place where my parents live, the city that two of my brothers and their wives are moving to this summer (yay!) and most importantly the town WHERE DAVE WORKS.  The one and only reason we are moving is to be closer to Dave's office.  He has commuted from Brentwood for 7 years and he has had it.  I've had it to.  Call us babies if you want to, but we can't commute any longer.  We are hoping to find a house as close as possible to his office.  He wants to ride his bike to work and I want him to get to ride his bike to work.  Commuting is no way for us to live.  I want a simpler life with a less-stressed Daddy and more family time.  

I will miss Brentwood SO much.  We have loved our seven years here.  There are amazing, wonderful people in this town, I adore my kids school and the teachers they've had!  My kids have awesome friends in church and at school.  We have had great sports teams, coaches, neighbors, preschool, everything.  I started my business here!  I've met so many nice people. The Streets of Brentwood is two minutes from my home, not to mention our favorite Mexican restaurant, we are getting a new chapel, etc. etc.  There are a million reasons to stay.  But Dave and I both know without a doubt that this is the best thing for our family.  The good news is Walnut Creek is only 40 minutes away so we can still see our friends and come to Brentwood whenever we want.

My kids are nervous and sad.  But I've said it a million times and I'll say it again, I have great kids.  They are being totally supportive of our decision and trying to see the positives of the move. Logan is bummed to miss out on being a big 5th grader at Loma Vista with all of his friends and his drama club!  He will miss his soccer team as well.  Lexi is nervous to start middle school in a new place.  We are both praying constantly that she will find good friends (and I'm praying that Foothill Middle - where I went- is not as bad as I remember it being!).  She is sad about dance too- but her awesome teacher is helping us figure out where to get her in.  Macey and her BFF's cry occasionally still, and write love notes to each other.  They have plans to face-time when we're gone.  We are also planning a big party for them- I told them they could have all of their friends over to say goodbye (wish me luck on this one- the list is already up to 30!?!?!)

 We will be renting in Walnut Creek until we save for a good home to buy. Things down there aren't exactly easily affordable.  If you know of a place- let us know!  The market is crazy and rentals go in hours.  We have our application in for a darling little home we found, and we may find out today if we got it!  If not, I know something else will come up.

So that is our news.  If I survive May and June I will be proud of myself.  I know we can do it, just take things a day at a time.  I need to stay organized with our family calendar, and stuff some boxes with junk in any spare moment.  It will all work out.  Sometimes times like this can be so good too.  We've already had our prayers answered about this big decision and selling our house!  Have I mentioned how much I love my house??  I do.  I will miss it so much.  It's funny how a house can hold so many memories.  Mack came home to this house.  We've been so happy here.  

Things will work out, and before I know it the rush will be over, it will be summertime and life will slow down again.  Wish us luck!

p.s. I think I didn't say enough about Walnut Creek in this post because I was going off about Brentwood. But I LOVE Walnut Creek and can't wait to live there.  Not only for the no commute thing, but the trees, and the hills, and the cool evening breeze, the shopping, restaurants, closeness to the freeway, the trails!!!  I love the bike trails.  The quiet community, the beauty, the parks.  I love it all.  So, yes, we're are so sad to leave Brentwood but Walnut Creek is my first choice for a new town.  I am very blessed.

Goodbye Sister Blodgett

My sister Kaley left for her 18 month mission to Spain last night.  This is the 5th missionary in our family to go, but it never gets easier to say goodbye.  She'll be gone for 18 month with only little communication with family (she can write letters and email once a week, and call home on Christmas and Mother's Day).  We did the traditional run after the car as she drives away.  Logan and Macey burst into tears as her car went around the corner!  We will miss her so much!  I know she is going to have a great adventure and share the news of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ with so many who are looking for the truth.  I know she'll grow and have experiences that will help her in her life.  She'll be a better person because of serving a mission.  But it's still hard.  I will worry about her safety and I know she'll be homesick at times.  It will be probably the hardest thing she's ever done, but so rewarding.  

She will be in the Missionary Training Center in Utah for 3 weeks where she will begin to learn Spanish.  Then she will go to the MTC in Madrid for 6 weeks where I'm sure she'll learn the language for real, plus the culture and the people. Then she'll be in Madrid working every day to bring people to Christ.  I'm so proud of her!

If you see the mormon missionaries in your neighborhood, think of Kaley, and be kind to them!  They are far from home and need some love.

We love you Aunt Kays!

XOXOXOX

SF Farmers Market, and I Finally Figured out my Pictures

The entire purpose of this post is to practice posting pictures with the new blogger.  I really love the new blogger but need to get used to it (thank you Lillie for your tips!).  It's truly great that you can post more than one picture at a time AND the workspace is larger.  I've been waiting for-ever for those changes.  Hooray!

So, the other Saturday for the kids "after tax-season trip" (yeah they got gipped (sp?) this year) we went into SF to have some fun.  Have you been the Farmers Market at the Ferry Building?  It's pretty amazing and yummy.  We sampled veggies, toffee, nuts, a ton of different kinds of honey, dried fruit, fresh fruit, and bread and cheese.  It was delish.

Then we ate lunch on a pier and walked around taking silly pictures and hanging out at the Embarcadero water structure thingy.  Just hoping my kids didn't get any of that water in mouth- they seem to be fine.  It was a fun day.  I tried to squeeze as much time as possible in with Kaley since she is leaving for her mission tomorrow (tears.  I'm going to miss her so much!)  Mack knows her since she babysat him those few days we were gone and he loves her.  When she gets back he will be two and a half!

Anyway, if you haven't done the Ferry Building, do it.  It's a good time.

And next time I will try to be better at taking pictures of things other than US!  Like the farmers market, water structure etc.  Oops.

La Jolla Adventure

This last week Dave and I went on a small get-away to San Diego to celebrate tax season being over and to rebuild our marriage (only kind of kidding).  We had a nice time and it was good to get away (but not from Mack I missed him so much and it was way too long to leave my one year old).

When we first arrived, the hotel that I had chosen online was a total dump and the type of place you would wake up to see a homeless man sitting on your balcony.  Who cares if it was right on the water it was sick and nasty!  So we checked in, and five minutes later checked out.  Luckily we found a better spot easily (I'm sure because it was a Monday night).

Tuesday we took a very, very long morning walk after breakfast.  I may be a little weird but it was the one thing I wanted to do- go on a long walk along the coast.  It was beautiful and there was even a seal pup birthing spot.  We didn't see any seals being birthed but I could watch seals all day- bouncing in and out of the water, fighting, barking, and the babies being cute.

Moving on.  

We ate at some good spots, we went to the San Diego temple (I had never done a session there, just been to sealing.  It was gorgeous inside- wow!!), rented bikes and explored Coronado, got a couples massage (it was heavenly until the next day when my whole body was a limp noodle), went to a movie, sat on the beach (would have done that more but the weather wasn't totally beach worthy), and did some shopping (I finally got a blazer- something I've been looking for for awhile yay!)

We also sat in the hotel jacuzzi but there were floating bugs so I had to get out. 

Some things we did not do: 

*sleep in (we have reached that age I guess... I just couldn't sleep past 7:30!) 

*pork out (I was determined not to make this oinkfest 2012 and it wasn't... but not because I have amazing self control, it's because I was a little sick to my stomach the whole time)!

*bring my big camera.  For the first time since I got it I did not bring it on vacation.  I figured I didn't need a bunch of pictures of Dave and I, and I wanted to be free of bags or anything heavy- it was nice.

Now for a few photos.  This may be the choppiest blog post ever but I can't think straight most of the time these days so this is all you get.

loved walking on the coast

SD Temple!

Breakfast at the Coffee Cup (divine.  thanks Stacy W)

Dave was excited about the rental car we got

biking Coronado

Meeting Angela from The Office!!

Together alone for an extended period of time- very strange, we had to get used to it

adorable seals

walking=love

Yes, we met Angela from The Office.  Dave and I NEVER meet celebs, and we're not really even into celebs so to see someone walking down the sidewalk in front of us from a tv show that we actually watch, was so fun.  I pointed it out and Dave was brave and said something.  She was very nice and told us she usually just blends in!  She is super tiny and mini-sized in real life.  Afterward Dave and I laughed our heads off at how "star struck" we were!??!  I was tongue tied basically the whole time and Dave said the stupidest stuff like "do you live here?" (at the hotel in Coronado lol!) and, "so where do you film the show?" LOL! Angela was like "um.. LA" and probably in her head "duh."  Also, after we met her Dave sent out the cheesiest tweet to her I almost died.

Now I need to write about some traveling issues I had that have discouraged me from going anywhere for awhile.  I love to travel, I love taking my family on trips and exploring new places.  However, in the last year or so I have become EXTREMELY motion sick.  It is awful!  Almost the entire time from the second the plane took off until it landed back in Oakland I was a little sick to my stomach.  Anytime we drove anywhere I got a headache and was nauseous.  It totally made me not want to do anything and it made me sad!  Is this my life from here on out?  Is it a symptom of age that is going to stop me from living life to the fullest?

On top of that and probably partly because of it, I wasn't able to eat as much as we wanted to.  I was excited to try some new places and lay in bed at night eating everything I try to hide from my kids.  But my belly was FULL the entire time and I hardly ate anything... I felt sick from eating the smallest amount and we even skipped a few meals because of it- how sad is that?  I'm just hoping it was related to the motion sickness thing and that I can fix both problems before I travel again.

Lastly I have come to realize that I may be a teeny bit of a wuss.  Sleeping outside of my own bed doesn't happen easily (I was up all the night the first night), my back hurts when I sit for too long (on the plane, in the rental car), and that massage I got?  Totally wiped me out the next day- I was a zombie walking around with no energy to lift a limb... I couldn't even try on clothes when we went shopping.  What is wrong with me?!

So, those are my problems and I need to figure them out before we travel again.  They didn't ruin the trip, we still had a great time, but they did put a damper on things for me and I just hope Dave isn't thinking "I married a huge baby."

Now to end with my highlights (the whole trip was a highlight but you know):

*the temple

*seeing "Salmon Fishing in Yemen" - I liked it

*playing a get to know you game with Dave one night which was so funny and good

*getting a Sprinkles cupcake (ok 4)

*looking into Dave's beautiful green eyes without any children interrupting us

*hearing from my sis (who watched our kids!!) that Mack was saying "mama mama" all night after we left

*breakfast at the Coffee Cup

*biking Coronado (I love biking!)

The End.

ps thank you Kaley!!  My sister leaves on her mission in a week and I'm so thankful she could bond with our kids for a few days and give us some much needed time off.  I'm going to miss her.

Yay it's Friday!

I don't think I ever posted these pictures I took of Mack to hang up at his party.  It was such an easy little session- I through him on my bed (a spot he loves to play on), pulled my blinds open and starting shooting- he was in such a good mood, thought everything I did was funny and I got all of these pictures that I love.  It's times like this that I'm so glad I'm a photographer and can get photos of my favorite baby any time.

Also... he's walking around now... a lot of the time.  Still crawls some, and still thinks walking is hilarious (he smiles and laughs the whole time).  It is so cute to see.  He can say, mama, dada, hi, vroom vroom (for a car), car... and that's it for now.

Dave is finished with tax season and has been home for three days now. We've done projects around the house and gone out to lunch and just hung out- it's been nice.  Next week my awesomely wonderful sister Kaley is watching the kids so we can go on a little get-away (to La Jolla- any recommendations for us there?)!  I can't wait!

Have a great weekend!